utter nonsense

you never know how much something means to you until its almost taken away. ive been sitting here stressed beyond belief over this (though other personal circumstances havent helped much either) as ive been waiting 19 god damn years for this moment for some bald headed fuckwit to try to take it away from me.

ive been balling my eyes out because i didnt even know how much this meant to me until today because its almost out of my grasp. its almost like im not meant to meet them ever. whats worse is that i might be out of my £118 as well…

ive got my upgrade and my 3rd row tickets to see the guys in just over 3 weeks time. ive been excited about the concert since i bought the tickets in september and all i thought i had was block 101. ive found out the meet and greet starts roughly about 4pm and guess who gets out of work at 4? me.

i was on originally from 12-8 and because i knew my cock of a manager wouldnt give me time off, i did a shift swap. i got hell for that and the fact i need the next day off (oh hey im going to have no voice from screaming my head off the night before! but yes lets put her on the phone for hours at a time talking to one person and let her become completely useless!) because you know im not doing whats best for the business. of course not! im doing whats best for me. just because this shit job is YOUR life doesnt mean its mine. im only there to collect the paycheck.

i said to him i found out over the break that the meet and greet is earlier than i thought and i might need to leave a little earlier than expected. i said was it possible to work through my lunch and leave an hour earlier. he said no because then it will set precident for others on the team. eh? wtf? i said if its not earlier than expected i can always cancel this request, cause you know its better to be prepared early than wait to last minute.  i said ill know more once i get my confirmation email and he just gave me hell.

i really hate this place and i need out. we spent over £3 million quid on a new ad campaign staring celebrities who changed their names to something more exciting and saying ‘if i was this would i have been this?’ all because the company is rebranding to its international parent name. wtf? £3 million could have given pretty much every lower level employee a pay raise this year and I wouldnt have had to wait from 07/08 to 12/08 to get a damn raise!!! i just wish this market wasnt shit. i just spent the last 2 hours searching and nothing. i hatehatehatehatehate my job.

ugh on monday im going to pitch it to him to take my lunch between 2-3 so i can go home shower and then come back for the last hour of my shift.  then im still getting my damned dinner break. it will just cost me a fortune in cabs. i should bill it to them, if i knew their account number. fuck work.